It’s not all peachy – or is it?

Kerala: Kovalam

I crashed in Kovalam. Physically. Mentally. Guiltily. Ridiculously.

My travel plans for this Kerala leg did not go to plan. I’m not even sure what the plan was but it didn’t meet my expectations.

I split my dress, broke my bag, bruised my leg – and my pride.

It was very hot (heat index of +40c). I didn’t know where I was going, neither did anyone else. I was supposed to be staying somewhere then had to shift elsewhere, the yoga place wasn’t as I’d imagined (neither did I give it a chance). There were tourists everywhere (fancy that in such a seaside resort?!). I was alone.

Normally, I’d tell myself to suspend my judgment and go on to discover it’s perfect, or at least fine. But instead I lay down and just let myself wallow in my first world problems in the most modest and friendliest country in the world.

Kerala: lighthouse beach

I have been pretty much lying down ever since, spending hours watching the waves crash on the shore, earphones in listening to music so no one bothers me. Watching the sun go down with the beach dogs. Such a hard life, I have. Not doing yoga yet feeling guilty every time the manager of my digs asks ‘off to yoga?’, ‘back from yoga?’.

India: Kovalam dog sunset

Then in response to a late night stressy email from me, my sister says: ‘maybe you’re just tired’, and she sorts me out with an alternative plan. A friend tells me ‘no one wants to read it’s peachy all the time’. They are both right. So here we are.

I’ve realised I’m being completely ridiculous and also in feeling guilty about not being always full of gratitude. So, I’m just letting myself crash out and not care.

Oh and I’ve checked myself into an ayurvedic retreat. Lucky me! Watch this (head) space, if you can bear it.

This Post Has 15 Comments

  1. Don’t worry Flavia as you have realised there is always going to be times on this kind of trip when nirvana turns to normal and you feel kind of flat. But without the flat bits you don’t appreciate the hills and vales – so just kick back as you have and enjoy this phase. X

    1. Aw, thanks! So true – it’s all part of the adventure/journey. I’ll literally and metaphorically be going uphill a lot this year, so it’s good to be challenged 🙂 x

  2. Hope you’re feeling a bit better now, Flav? Thinking of you (and actually had a v odd dream with you in last night – can’t really remember it but we were in India, trying to find something I think…). Hope the Ayurvedic retreat works out. It can be hard being on your own in a strange country sometimes (I’ve had low moments when travelling before – both on my own and in company). Am with you in spirit xx

    1. Brilliant! Maybe your dream was my reality 🙂 I’m fine. It was a wobble and yeah I’ve had it before but even in that moment I knew it would work out in some way. I’m glad you’re with me in spirit though and I’ll tell you my adventures on my return. Off to Ayurvedic retreat soon – mmm! xx

  3. Chin up, Flavs. Peaks and troughs, as someone above says. Remember we’re all immensely jealous of your me time – but DO NOT feel guilty about that or anything else, come to that. I’m sure you’ll be your zen self in no time – or laughing crazily into a pina colada. Definitely one of those. a X

    1. Haha! The Thomson wit never fails! The zen has returned, thanks, now that I’ve accepted that I’m not on some schedule and it doesn’t matter if it veers off course. Laughing already sans pina colada 🙂 x

  4. You’re probably more physically knackered than you think too. Brain demanding a bit of a shut down on all fronts perhaps? Please don’t feel guilty!!! Xx

  5. Completely agree with your mates on here Flavia, you need some down times to realise the good times.

    I’m glad the Zen is back and alongside a Pina Colada!! Glad to hear it.

    It’s been a funny week back at work – I’ve spent this week sharing a few stories from our cycling holiday and the words i’m always using are ‘hot’ and ‘sweaty’ and ‘what a relief for cycling clothes’ but that ‘i didn’t fall in love with India like i thought i might’! Matt came home on Monday and said he’d ended up saying the same thing and we realised like it sounded like we hadn’t enjoyed our holiday. But we did ana amazhing thing cycling our way through some high temparatures, it was good but not without it’s challenges. Hey were were the 3rd group out of 76 not to have an accident. So remember you started Kerala well and it’s going to finish great!!

    I think India is such a different place to be and I’m a little in awe of you being out there on your own. You’re showing your strengths not everyone could do that. You’re doing a brilliant thing, it will be satisfying in the end and i’m sure give you headspace to consider the year ahead.

    Enjoy your Ayurvedic stay. Safe Travels xx

    1. Thanks so much, Ali, for taking the time to say all this. You are so right in that there are so many challenges (the ‘feels like factor’ is now 44c!) and you can forget you’re having/had a good time. Another friend who’s been here said she felt like that often.
      People have been in awe of our cycle efforts though! I’m currently undergoing a programme of ‘lubrication, scrubbing and sweating’ (I kid you not) at the Ayurvedic retreat which is actually quite exhausting! However, this is all teaching me a lot and giving me time to think (almost too much but I’m too tired to do it that much!). I hope your week back has been nice. I missing London xx

  6. oh dear realised a few typos in my post! apologies!

    1. No problemo! 🙂 It’s better just to get down what you have to say and not to worry about it!

  7. take care of yourself Flavia – it’s a journey not a race! you will always be the winner… xx

  8. You are still you and life is still life, wherever you are in the world so just go with the flow and enjoy, this time away,but don’t expect perfection 😊 xx

    1. Aw, thanks Emma! Tbh, it has been my only truly bad experience so far (excluding a sickness big in Mysore!) and it wasn’t that bad. All is v peachy now though 🙂 xx

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